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Some quotes
- Oh Snap
- 10 kinds of nasty
- Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your goin to get but i know im goin to eat every
fuckin chocolate in that box.
-Your name must be Daisy because I wanna plant you right here.
-If your left leg was Christman and your right leg was Thanksgiving I would like to visit you between the
Holidays.
-Tonights word is legs lets go back to my place and spread the word.
-well helllllllllllo. i saw you from across the pool and i just wanted to say something to you, you have
an absolutly BREATH taking hiney.....
| Made my Andrew Harris |
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| WAIT... I forgot to put in the crystals |
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| Come down here and try and hit me |
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 Some Jokes
HellOne day, a guy dies and finds himself in Hell. As he is wallowing in despair,
he has his first meeting with a demon.
Demon: "Why so glum, chum?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in Hell."
Demon:
"Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon:
"Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, bear, wine coolers;
we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great."
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy:
"You better believe it."
Demon: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars and cigarettes from around
the world and smoke our friggin' lungs out. If you get emphysema, it's okay... you're already dead!"
Guy: "Oh, man! This
is too much!"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday
is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it. We even opened up a pai gow poker table."
Guy: "Gosh, I never
played pai gow before..."
Demon: "Well now you can. You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Yes, I love to do drugs. You don't
mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a doobie the size
of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's okay... you're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat!
I never realized that hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Oooh. You're gonna
hate the weekends."
Eleven reasons why e-mail is like a penis:
11. Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off.
10. Those who have it think that
those who don't are somehow inferior.
9. Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the
fuss that those who have it make about it.
8. Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists
call "E-Mail Envy."
7. It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.
6. In the distant
past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the
only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun.
5. If you don't take proper precautions,
it can spread viruses.
4. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.
3.
We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.
2. If you're not careful
what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.
And the number One reason e-mail is like a penis:
1. If you play with it too much, you could
go blind.
DR. SEUSS' LESSER-KNOWN BOOKS
- The Cat in the Blender
- Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert
- Fox in Detox
- Who Shat in the Hat?
- Horton Hires a Ho
- The Flesh-Eating Thorax
- How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day
- Your Colon Can Moo--Can You?
- Zippy the Rabid Gerbil
- One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch
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